Tearing Out My Heart
by Moonbeam-987
Summary: A sequal to 'No Goodbyes'. Oneshots of what happened between James leaving and coming back! KAMES: rated T
1. We Can Make It Through

Hello:) Since I am still getting reviews for _No Goodbyes_, I decided that I wanted to do a little sequal-type-thingy! It's pretty much just going to be oneshots of things that go on in the boys lives as they try and stay together inbetween where James left and then he came back. I really hope you enjoy:)

Disclaimer: We all know by now that I own absolutely nothing!

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><p>The phone started to ring and I thought my heart was going to fly out of my chest if I didn't get to it fast enough. James left yesterday and I haven't heard anything from him. I've been frantic the whole time.<p>

As I sprinted to the kitchen I practically ran over my mom trying to get to the phone and ended up stubbing my toe in the process. Hobbling about two more feet to get to the phone I prayed for one that it was James, and two that I made it before he hung up. Finally reaching the phone, I couldn't press the accept button fast enough.

"H-hello?"

"Hey Kendall." My heart soared.

"James!"

"Kendall!"

"I thought you died or something! Why didn't you call me sooner? You changed your mind didn't you? I kn-"

"Kendall! I love you." He interrupted my rant and those words plastered a smile across my face.

"Love you too. But seriously, why did it take you so long to call?"

"After we got off of the plan my mom took my phone and said I couldn't talk to you or have it back until I went and made friends."

"What the-"

"Don't cuss mister." I could see him just wiggling a finger at me, trying to stop my bad cussing habit.

"I wasn't going to Mr. Smarty-Pants. But really, that is stupid of your mom to do that. I was worried sick!"

"I know, but I met this girl named Camille and she seems pretty cool. After I brought her to the house and showed my mom that I made a friend she handed me my phone, and here we are." I could hear him chuckle and it made my chest ache.

"I miss you James."

"I miss you too; I miss you so much."

We sat there in silence for a few minutes, and surprisingly it wasn't awkward or anything. We just sat there listening to each other breathing as I wished that he wasn't two thousand miles away from me. As I walked up to my room I heard sniffling on the other end of the line.

"James?"

"Y-yeah?"

"What's wrong?"

"I-I wanna go h-home."

"But aren't you at home?"

"N-no. I wanna go _home_-home. Back to M-Minnesota."

"I want you to come back too, but we just have to stick it out and be strong. Ok?"

"I just miss seeing your face, hearing you laugh, seeing you smile, h-holding you…"

"Hey, hey, hey, it's ok. Let's talk about something else to get your mind off of missing me."

"Impossible…"

"Well, let's try. Tell me about this Camille girl. I need to know who you are hanging out with isn't a bad influence on you."

"Ok, umm… she's definitely crazy, that's for sure. She's over the top and loud. Umm… she wants to be an actress… and that's pretty much all I know from just meeting her."

"Sounds like a girl version of a certain somebody…"

"Who?"

"YOU!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yes-uh!"

"Whatever."

"Don't be mad at me!"

"Hmph!"

"I'm sorry Jamie."

"…"

"Hello?"

"What?"

"I said I was sorry!"

"Not the right words."

"Then what are the right words?"

"Starts with an "I" and ends with "love you"." I could practically hear him smirking.

"I love you."

"I know you do."

"What? I don't get any love back?"

"Nope."

"Ok, then I guess I'll just go then…"

"Wait!"

"…"

"Kendall! You better not have hung up on me!"

"I didn't, chill."

"Don't tell me to chill."

"Tell me you love me then."

"I love you Kendall Knight, with all of my heart." For about the billionth time tonight my heart felt like it was going to explode.

"Good." I heard a little yawn escape his lips and I knew that he was tired, "I bet you're really tired. You should go to sleep."

"Noooo. I wanna talk to you."

"I want to talk to you too, but I'm sure you're exhausted. You can talk to me in the morning, ok?"

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Ok."

"Goodnight Jamie."

"Goodnight Kendy. I love you."

"I love you too. Sleep tight." The line went dead and I placed my phone on my nightstand.

I laid down on my bed and pulled the covers up around my neck. As I laid there I thought about James and I. How it was only going to be five more years until we graduate and we can be together again; how one day we could actually be together. And I fell asleep knowing that he loved me.

_This whole long distance relationship thing is going to be hard, but I think we can make it through._

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><p>I know it's really short, but I wanted to get this going and I had no other idea how to do it. Not all of them are going to be on the phone. I'm planning on having them also video-chat and have Kendall go visit James a couple of times:)<p>

Review?


	2. For The Rest Of My Life

Hello again! I know I only started this last night, but I felt like the first oneshot of this was awful, so here is the second one! I feel like this one is much better, and it's longer! YAY! I hope you like it! Oh, and I am having trouble with commas lately, so sorry if I put them where they don't belong:)

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but Kendall is hiding in my closet:}

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><p>As I walked home from school I hummed to myself, thinking. I've been in California for almost two months now and it finally feels like I'm starting to fit in here. Since I got the lead in the school musical everything has just kind of fallen into place. I have a bunch of friends now, Kendall and I are still together, and we finally got settled into our new home.<p>

Walking down the sidewalk I took in the warm air. It's February and there is no snow in sight. Sure I wasn't the biggest fan of the snow and cold, but it was what made Minnesota home.

My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing in my backpack. I sat my backpack down on the sidewalk and searched for my phone through all of the stuff that I tended to accumulate, and I finally found it underneath my _Boy Next Door_ headshot. Looking at the caller-id as I started walking again, Kendall's face was staring back at me and I automatically answered.

"Hey! I was going to call you once I-"

"J-James…" I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Kendall? Kendall, what's wrong?"

"I-I… I g-got…"

"What? You got what? Kendall, I need you to talk to me."

"Some f-freshmen… I-I got b-b-beat up." My heart stopped.

"W-what? Wh-why? Why would any freshmen have a reason to beat you up?"

"C-cause I'm a f-fag."

"No you're not. I don't ever want to hear that come out of your mouth again."

"But it's t-true…"

"No it is not. You are not a fag Kendall Knight. You are beautiful, strong, and you have a heart of gold." I had a moment of anger run through me, but I knew I had to help him. "Now, where are you?"

"In the l-locker-room. E-everything hurts Jamie."

"It's going to be ok. It's going to be ok." I spun around in a circle looking for anyone as if it would help my boyfriend laying on a locker-room floor two thousand miles away. "Can you move?"

"N-no."

Kendall let out a choked sob and I felt my legs wobble beneath me. How the hell am I supposed to help him? I can't be there for him. I can't assess his injuries. I can't do anything for him. The only thing I can do is call his mom.

"Kendall, I'm going to hang up and call your mom. Once I tell her where you are I'm going to call you back and I want you to stay on the phone with me until she gets to you, ok?"

"O-ok."

"You're going to be ok, I promise. I love you."

"I-I love y-you too."

I quickly hung up and dialed his mom's number. Waiting for her to answer was pure agony.

"_Come on Mama Knight, your son is probably dying and you are taking your sweet fuc-_"

"Hello?"

"Mama Knight! You need to get to Kendall. He got beaten up by some freshmen. He's in the locker-room and he can't move, I need you to get to him _now_." I barely took a breath trying to get her to Kendall as fast as I could.

"What?"

"You have to get to him now!" I felt tears build up in my eyes and could feel the gazes of the people walking past me on the sidewalk falling on me.

"Ok. I'm getting in the car now."

"I'm going to call him back and stay on the phone with him until you get there."

I didn't even wait for her reply as I hung up and started to dial Kendall's number. The phone rang about fifteen times before it went to his voicemail.

"_You've reached Kendall. Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, so leave your name and your reason for calling and I'll get back to ya."_

I pressed the end button and redialed his number, praying that he would answer. It rang for an immeasurable amount of time before it went to his voicemail again. I stood there redialing his number till finally he answered, but it wasn't his voice on the other end.

"James…"

"Mama Knight? Where is Kendall?"

"They are r-rushing him to the ER. He lost c-consciousness and he's really b-banged up."

"N-no… Is he going to be ok?"

"They d-don't know." Tears started freefalling down my face. I collapsed to the sidewalk and started sobbing.

"It's all m-my f-fault."

"No it's not James, it' nobody's fault."

"It is my fault! If I would have been there I could have helped him! I could have protected him like I'm supposed t-to…"

"James, there is nothing you could have done. Apparently these boys, whoever they were, were even too strong for Kendall."

"B-but I could have helped."

"It's over now James. Right now we just need to pray that Kendall will wake up and be here for him."

"But that's the point! I _can't _be there for him."

"You_ were_ there for him. You called me and told me what happened. If you didn't do that and I didn't get here f-fast enough…"

"It's ok Mama Knight, Kendall's going to make it. He has to." She sniffled a few times and then cleared her throat.

"You're right. Oh, here comes the doctor! I'll call you back in a little bit Sweetheart."

"Ok, and thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Bye."

"Bye."

After hanging up I wiped my eyes and stood up. Starting to walk home all I could thing about was Kendall. _Why would he be alone in the locker-room with a bunch of freshmen? Where were Carlos and Logan? Why weren't they there? I hope he is ok. He has to be ok. If anything happens to him…_

My phone started ringing right as I walked in the door and I threw my backpack on the ground, quickly answering it.

"Hello?"

"He's awake!"

"R-really?" my voice quivered as I put my hand over my mouth to keep from practically sobbing in joy.

"Yes! The doctors said that he is going to be ok…_ What Hunny?... You want to talk to him?... Ok…_ He wants to talk to you." I nodded my head, waiting to hear his voice to tell me it was true.

"Jamie?"

"Oh Kendall!" I couldn't hold my tears in any longer, "Y-you're ok!"

"Thanks to you. The doctors said that if my mom had gotten there just a few minute later I could have slipped into a coma."

"Kendall, you don't know how happy I am to hear your voice. I thought I would n-never hear it again…" I tried wiping some of my tears away, but after I would more would fall down my face.

"Don't cry Jamie, I'm ok. The doctors said I could go home tomorrow if I do well over night."

"I'm so happy to hear that. I wish I could be there."

"Me too."

"Do you know who did this to you?"

"Yeah, I already told the cops and they are being sent to juvy."

"They deserve more punishment then that, but I guess it will have to do." Kendall chuckled and I couldn't stop smiling. "I love you Kendall. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"I'll let you go so you can rest up and get out of the hospital."

"Okeydokey. Will you call later?"

"Sure thing."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Bye."

"Bye."

The line went dead and I fell against the wall, sliding down to the floor. _He's ok. He's ok._ I smiled, silently thanking God that Kendall was ok. _He's ok._ Then a thought struck me and I smiled even bigger.

_Sure I couldn't be there for him today, but I promise to be there for him for the rest of my life. It will be hard, but I will keep that promise._

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><p>So... was it better? I hope it is.<br>Please review?


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